ripped | voicemail

Skip to Main Content

Entry tags:

!voicemail

voicemail

You've reached pokemon trainer Nero. Please leave a message after the tone. [beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You mean besides lambchop showing up and this whole garbage pileup? Yeah, we're peachy. She's safe in Vermillion still, that's what matters. You and D doing OK on your end?

Assuming you're talking about the bigger of the two slobbery pizza fiends, yeah, we're keeping on top of things. Don't worry about l-l-l-lambchop. Gloria's on the case.

[Ok, now he just has to ask.]

Does he really like pizza that much?

Are swords sharp and pointy?

[You know, it's the small stuff like this that really gets to Nero. Dante, who is this larger-than-life figure, being reduced to 'slobbery pizza fiend' is...kind of weird in a refreshing way.]

Guess I owe him an extra large when I meet him in person.

Just make sure you keep the olives off it and you'll be golden.

And a picky eater, at that. The more you know.

Trust me, it's a cardinal sin to put an olive anywhere near his mozzarella. He sulks. It's kinda pathetic.

Let me guess: no anchovies, either.

...why would you even want to?

What's wrong with anchovies?

[Raised in a seaside town, ladies and gents.]

How bout you tell me what's RIGHT with them.

They taste just fine, you baby. With some parsley and capers and tomato sauce, come on.

Oh kid. KID. We need to get you some pepperoni. Stat.

Newsflash: you can have pepperoni and anchovies on the same pizza! Shocking, I know.

Again. WHY

Because I like them. Bite me.

I thought you were spoken for.

You are dangerously close to losing your second-favorite-person status, here.

Nero, one of these days I'm going to get you to crack a smile. So help me.

I smile plenty.

You'd smile more if you had less anchovies in your diet. Next time I see you I'm buying you a real pizza. That's not negotiable.

Don't make me buy one with anchovies, now.

Touche.

Edited 2012-05-07 22:08 (UTC)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only